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I'm back at school, and the insecurity continues.
I don't love myself. I don't believe in myself. It's my fault completely. But I need my boyfriend to be there for me. I need some friends to be there for me. To ask if I'm okay. To push the issue until I break. To make me feel comfortable enough to cry. To let go.
Please help me let go.
I don't love myself. I don't believe in myself. It's my fault completely. But I need my boyfriend to be there for me. I need some friends to be there for me. To ask if I'm okay. To push the issue until I break. To make me feel comfortable enough to cry. To let go.
Please help me let go.
The truth, the truth, the truth...
I'm home again, home again. Sitting on my butt in front of my television. Not hanging out with anyone. Keeping silent all day long.
Here's what I think.
You come back home after being away. You see your friends. You hug. You smile. You talk.
After around 30 minutes, you want to get away. It's not that your friends annoy you or that you annoy them. It's that you've changed. For the better, yes, but changed nonetheless. You two aren't the same people you were when you hugged after graduation. So it's hard to try and dig back to the way you were, because the new you is an improvement, even if it means an old relationship isn't as strong.
I w
Therapy
I haven't had to write in a very long time.
Perhaps I should write more often.
Then it won't build up so much.
I've cried every day for the past week.
I don't know how to be alone.
And what's worse is that I'm not alone.
I'm always searching
Always yearning
Always loving
Always hurting
Why can't your lover be your best friend?
As a tall, dark, handsome man told me today,
You can't just have one pillar.
Because when the foundation cracks,
There's nothing to keep you from tumbling to the ground.
My foundation's cracked.
I feel like I'm falling with my feet firmly planted.
Because I don't trust anyone.
I don't trust myself to b
Family
His big brown eyes welled with tears when he spoke
And I couldn't hold mine back
He said I was his influence
His inspiration
That I taught him all he knew
He said he'll miss me
He said he loves me
That's all I've ever wanted to be
A loving, caring sister.
I'll miss you too
And Abby
But I'm always going to be here
Less than an hour away
I can come home
Home
I love my family
There's this little thing I've always wanted
There's the flat in New York City.
Tiny. Intimate.
Close enough to Broadway. And take out.
With a cozy little couch
And a fluffy white bed
Kittens too, just to get even more cliche
I had never seen it as a possibility
But with you, it's all so clear
I can do what I want
I can make you happy
We can be together
<3
I love you
© 2011 - 2024 Sli-lysinging
Comments4
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pssst hey 
So, I don't usually comment on journals, but seeing that you're sad and that it's you I felt I had to.
Love yourself, believe in yourself. Pretty please? I've looked up to you for a long long time. Sometimes it takes seeing what others see in you to find out how truly beautiful you are, and I see a lot of wonderful things in you. I know the feeling and I just hope and pray that you find the light at the end of the tunnel, because it's there even if you can't see it just yet. <3
So, I don't usually comment on journals, but seeing that you're sad and that it's you I felt I had to.
Love yourself, believe in yourself. Pretty please? I've looked up to you for a long long time. Sometimes it takes seeing what others see in you to find out how truly beautiful you are, and I see a lot of wonderful things in you.
I know the feeling and I just hope and pray that you find the light at the end of the tunnel, because it's there even if you can't see it just yet. <3